Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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