mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
