I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
