Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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