doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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