What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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