I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize