Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Someone signed my nipple.
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