I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
