11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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