is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
two words...techno handjob
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's never too late to be topless.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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