He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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