hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
