Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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(573): View more from Missouri

shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"

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(916): View more from California

I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked

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