He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved