Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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