its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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