Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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  (419): Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase. http://tfl.nu/7f2q
  Replies (32) Good night (651) Bad night (2599)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4846) Bad night (1288)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.

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  (617): his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family. http://tfl.nu/jlgb
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (4080)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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  (215): me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk. http://tfl.nu/afjb
  Replies (23) Good night (5683) Bad night (1716)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining

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  (304): i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining http://tfl.nu/3fon
  Replies (9) Good night (5415) Bad night (784)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2361) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

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  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (59) Good night (1970) Bad night (5288)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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  (864): turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy http://tfl.nu/uoz8
  Replies (3) Good night (1210) Bad night (1315)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.

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  (623): By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us. http://tfl.nu/p1x8
  Replies (12) Good night (1466) Bad night (665)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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  (701): I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day" http://tfl.nu/o3b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (394)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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  (304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed. http://tfl.nu/uiwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (335)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!

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  (573): Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica! http://tfl.nu/ntrd
  Replies (1) Good night (1105) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.

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  (708): For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does. http://tfl.nu/ctyd
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously, fuck work.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

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  (910): Seriously, fuck work. (1-910): uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car http://tfl.nu/awlj
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

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  (408): YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU http://tfl.nu/x6d6
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (430)

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