So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.