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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (909): View more from California

  I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.

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• (716): View more from New York

  lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties

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