How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?