my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
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We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV