and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
