About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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