Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?

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  (317): So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself? http://tfl.nu/kpiy
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (823)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.

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  (407): I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done. http://tfl.nu/92fz
  Replies (4) Good night (3034) Bad night (680)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.

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  (780): Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero. http://tfl.nu/3vt3
  Replies (7) Good night (4512) Bad night (732)
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  (949): View more from California

  Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.

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  (949): Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that. http://tfl.nu/bq5s
  Replies (10) Good night (5461) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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  (401): I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family. http://tfl.nu/wak4
  Replies (31) Good night (5048) Bad night (2035)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn

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  (419): its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn http://tfl.nu/wwy8
  Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (2991)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.

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  (403): Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it. http://tfl.nu/6k4w
  Replies (18) Good night (5079) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift

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  (614): the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift http://tfl.nu/dh45
  Replies (19) Good night (4295) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor

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  (250): You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor http://tfl.nu/35l1
  Replies (2) Good night (1883) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.

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  (816): It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one. http://tfl.nu/pa8f
  Replies (1) Good night (1256) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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  (406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches

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  (832): I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches http://tfl.nu/e6l8
  Replies (0) Good night (1132) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

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  (870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet

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  (303): I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet http://tfl.nu/m8aq
  Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.

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  (609): You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight. http://tfl.nu/rykt
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (194)

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