What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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