She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
