Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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