Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
