So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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