the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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