youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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