there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
