She announced her abortion via fbk
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
