But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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