I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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