I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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