Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
