Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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