he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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