my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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