I'm jealous of your bromance
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
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