I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
