So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
