Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
