we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
