I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize