you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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