i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
