New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So. Much. Porn.
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