what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
