i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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