Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
