Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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