Need sex. Gaining weight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize