so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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