And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
