I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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