when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
