oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
