summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
