The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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