And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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