I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
honey bunches of taint.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
