i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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